On June 18th I had to leave my amazing family and boarded the plane that would bring me back to a life that I didn't call mine anymore. This time I thankfully made the trip without any complications and without missing a flight.
It's kinda a strange and weird feeling, sitting at an airport all alone, sobbing while reading goodbye letters your family gave you.
I mean, how could anyone around you understand what this feels like?
After almost 24 hours, I finally arrived 'home'. Should I even say 'finally'? It's not like I looked forward to leave everything behind again.
But then the moment came and I walked out of the airport, seeing my family waving with a big sign that said: 'Welcome back!'
I'm not gonna lie- it was a bit overwhelming. My friend was also there and after I greeted them and said the first sentences, I noticed that everyone was staring at me. Apparently I had talked in English the whole time. Has that happened to any of you guys? It's the weirdest feeling!
The first time I walked into my house, I stopped for a second and took a breath in to see what it smells like.
That moment was really important to me because you don't know how your house smells like when you live in it, because you get used to it...
The only thing I remember of that moment though is that I indeed smelled something. I already can't remember what though :D
Soo anyways... What should I say? It was really hard for me to get used to my 'old life'.
Because no matter what, I have changed during that year. And even though I some of these changes already fade away a little, I still became a different person and I will never go back to who I was before.
I see everything in a different light now and have a whole different perspective on life.
And even after 3 months of being back, I still miss my American family ever day.
Sorry guys but I can't give you a full report on my emotional feelings... It's too hard to put into words.
This was definetely the hardest goodbye I ever had in my life, and probably will ever have,.
One more thing I want to share with you guys...
I've come to believe that everyone has something that will make them truly happy... And many people will never find that in their life. Let it be a significant other who you love with all your heart or the job that brings you so much joy...
Well, even though I'm only 17, I believe that I have found true happiness.
I've found the place where I could be myself and that made me a better person.
I have found my real smile that even lights up my eyes.
And for that feeling, I would give anything.
So if you ever debate if it's worth it to do an exchange year... Think about that you might be able to find true happiness!
I started school today, it's a new school and a whole new beginning! The exchange year helped me have a look at my future so now I already have a plan,.. I have three more years of school and then want to do an Aupair year in either Australia or New Zealand.. After that I'll probably go back to Germany to study on an University (Maybe becoming a Psychiatrist)....
So yes! This is it. This is the last post on this blog (probably).
I wanna thank all of you guys who kept reading my posts and I hope I helped some of you with sharing my experience....
For all of you guys who will still go abroad... Have fun! And never stop dreaming :)
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| Ohh cornfields... I'll miss you! |
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| We took this picture at our goodbye party :) |
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